Meet Paul Noakes

Canadian Paul Noakes recently capitalized on his third consecutive final-round appearance by claiming the Alcohol Funny Car Ironman at the Mopar Canadian Nationals at Ontario's Grand Bend Motorplex. This interview by Randy Cunningham, from earlier this year, explores Noakes' off-track persona.

The A&E Network wants to create a reality show on your life for TV.  What would you name the show, and what would we learn about you?  Wow.  I guess it would have to be called, “Follow A Dream.”  The audience would learn that hard work and dedication pay off.  I just don’t give up.  I’ve been doing this for a long time.  I’ve had a lot of hurdles to cross, and I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve won a couple of races.

You’re given the chance to play in your favorite band.  What band will you choose and which instrument will you play?  I couldn’t play an instrument.  I’d probably have to play Guitar Hero.  (Laughs)  My favorite band?  Geez.  I usually just listen to the radio going down the road.  I do like Kid Rock, AC/DC, that kind of stuff.  Just rock and roll.

If you had a time machine that could take you anywhere, what place would you want to go?  Who came up with that question?  Is this going to be in the comic section?  (Laughs)  Where I would want to go, I couldn’t tell you.  I guess I would like to go to the happiest day in my daughter’s life.  So far her best days have been a tossup between Christmas Day and Boxing Day (December 26th).  On Christmas she enjoyed opening her presents, but she was up at the crack of dawn on Boxing Day.  On Christmas, she slept in, not realizing what was ahead of her, I guess.  On Boxing Day she was up early playing with everything.

Let’s pretend you’re elected the Prime Minister of Canada.  After five minutes in office, you decide an immediate change is in order.  What is it?  I would definitely think that more incentives should be given for buying hybrid cars.  We need to stay away from relying on fuel from other countries.  I would want to give more benefits for people who choose to go that route.  Make every household have one hybrid in their driveway, at least.

What are your pet peeves regarding drivers on the roadways?  (Laughs loudly)  Oh, geez, there’s so many of them.  Some of them just have to come to a stop, even when they only want to turn off the road.  I guess they can’t handle driving their car like it’s supposed to be driven.  I don’t want that to sound like I drive like an idiot, because I don’t believe in racing around town.  But some people who just can’t follow the rules of the road come to a stop in the middle of the road for no reason.  Just turn!

You’re a contestant on the TV show “Fear Factor.”  What is something on the show that scares you to the point that you wouldn’t consider attempting, even for $100,000?  Eat the crap that they eat.  I just wouldn’t eat the food they make them eat.  I don’t usually watch a lot of TV.

Is there a show you’ll stop whatever you’re doing to watch?  IHRA and NHRA drag racing.  That’s it.

You win one million dollars, and you’re given one hour to spend it on anything except items for drag racing.  What will you buy?  I’d go pay off a bunch of debts.  (Laughs) I’d set the family up for life, in the right direction with the house and cars paid for.  Can I buy 5 houses?  Then, I’d buy houses for everyone.  I’d make my whole family comfortable.

Fill in the blank.  In high school, I was the person most likely to:  I was definitely not the person most likely to become a teacher.  You can write that.  But, I was someone most likely to become a mechanic and a racer.

Talk about the first day you got your driver’s license.  I think I went to work.  I’m sure I went cruising around, but I was working back then for my dad in his performance shop.

Talk about your driver’s education experience.  It was perfect, and saved me a lot of money on insurance.  

Did the instructor have pedals on his side of the car?  Oh yeah.

Were they used a lot?  Oh yeah!  (Big laugh)  They were used a couple of times.

What’s the most unusual job you’ve ever had?  I guess when I was an early teenager I worked in a greeting card store.  A paper route was my first job, and I also worked in a card store stocking shelves and bringing in customers buying cards.  I was 13.

Right now you’re answering questions.  Is there anyone you’ve wanted to interview?  Hmm.  I’m going to have to say someone like Don Schumacher.  It really intrigues me how he makes marketing and owning cars look easy.  He always seems to have the ability to grab good racers, good drivers.  I think he chooses good drivers over money and finds a sponsor with a good driver and a car that performs.  He knows the right combination.

You’ve been racing 20 years.  Did you ever think your career would last this long?  Oh yeah, I figured I’d be doing it the rest of my life.  I just never thought I’d be running at the level of Alcohol Funny Car I’m at.  I’ve had many hurdles to overcome.  I’ve broken blocks so that I can’t go racing.  In the past 10 years I’ve had probably four years where I only made it to two races.  I broke my stuff and was done for the year.  What keeps me doing it?  The love of the sport.  Passion. Having as much fun as I can, and not going broke doing it.

How far can hard work take you in racing?  I’ll let you know when I get there.